To improve my English skill, I have started to read English books. This is the first English book which I read and the most inspired book I have ever read too. It is so amazing when I read this book and don’t need one a minute, I decide to write down some messages which Brian Tracy gives the reader:
The most important principle of human life is that you become what you think about most of the time. Your outer world is very much a reflection of your inner world. If you change your thinking, you change your life.
After reading the preceding paragraph, the question is “what is changing your thinking?” Change thinking is the way you think about yourself, your abilities, and your potential – your self – concept – determines everything you are today, and everything you ever will be. Self – concept has three parts: self – ideal, self – image, self – esteem.
Self – ideal: your self – ideal is made up of all of your hopes, dreams, visions, and ideals. Your self – ideal is the person you would most like to become. If you could be a perfect person in every way, these ideals guide and shape your behavior.
Self – image: This is the way you see you and think about yourself. It is often called your “inner mirror”. It is where you look internally to see how you should behave in a particular situation. Because of the power of your self – image, you always perform on the outside consistent with the picture you have of yourself on the inside.
Self – esteem: This is the emotional component of your personality and is the most important factor in determining how you think, feel and behave. Your self – esteem is the best defined as how much you like yourself. The more you like yourself, the better you perform at anything you attempt. Your self – esteem is the “reactor core” of your personality. It is the energy source that determines your level of confidence and enthusiasm. The more you like your self, the higher will be the standards you will set for yourself. The more you like yourself, the bigger the goals you will set for yourself and the longer you will persist in achieving them. People with high self – esteem are virtually unstoppable. By taking complete control over the words, pictures, and ideas you let into your mind, you take complete control of your future. “You are a thoroughly good person. You are honest, decent, truthful, and hard working. You treat other people with courtesy, respect, and warmth. You are dedicated to your family, friends, and your company. You are strong, confident and responsible. You are knowledgeable, intelligent and experienced. You are important not only to the people closed to you but also to your community. You were born for a special reason, and you have a great destiny to fulfill. You are an excellent person tin everyway”. When you unconditionally accept that you are truly valuable and worthwhile person, you will express it in everything you say and do. Overtime, it will become true for you. Your ideal will become your reality. Your biggest challenge and your greatest responsibility are to create within yourself the mental equivalent of what you want to experience on the outside. By doing this, you activate all your mental powers, and put the forces of the universe to work on your behalf. You take full control over your life. Over and over, the most successful men and women report the same things. They think what about they want and how to get it most of the time. When you think and talk continuously about what you want and how to get it, this way of thinking soon becomes a habit. When you think and talk about what you want, you become more positive, purposeful, and creative. When you stay focused on where you’re going, you become more productive and effective person.
By getting rid of negative emotions, you liberate your potential and change your life. The elimination of negative emotions is the most important single step you can take toward health, happiness, and personal wellbeing. There are four basic causes of negative emotions: justification, identification, inward considering and blame.
Justification is what you do when you rationalize or create a reason for your anger and unhappiness. You tell yourself and whoever else will listen, how badly you were treated and how dreadfully the other person behaved. You continually rehash the situation in your mind. You repeat all the reason you have for being upset. Each time you think of the person or situation, you become angry, you feel entitled to your anger as if you have paid a high price for it, especially since, in your estimation, you were such a good and virtuous person. The way you short – circuit the natural tendency toward justification and rationalization is by refusing to engage in it. Instead, you stop justifying. You use your marvelous mind to think of reasons not to justify your negative emotions. Instead of justifying your anger and unhappiness, you should use your intelligence and imagination to excuse the other person, or to let go of the unhappy situation. For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of becoming angry, you say “well, I guess he must be late for an important appointment”.
Identification or Attachment is the second major cause of negative emotion. This occurs when you take something personally or you become attached to a person or thing. You see the unhappy outcome of an event or circumstance as a personal affront or attack on you on something. You believe in or hold dearly you become emotionally involved in a situation and identify so strongly with it that it affects your emotions and your reason in a negative way.
The third major cause of negative emotion is inward considering. This occurs when you become overly concerned with the way people are treating you. If you perceive that someone is not giving you the respect that you feel you deserve, you can feel insulted and angry, and want to strike back.
The fourth major cause of negative emotion is blame. It is blame especially that generates anger, the worst of all the negative emotions. To become angry, a person must be able to blame someone for something. The best way to eliminate anger of all kinds is to accept responsibility. The acceptance of responsibility immediately short – circuits the emotion of anger. As soon as you say “I am responsible”, your anger stops. The root cause negative emotions, the main factor that predisposes a person to blaming and to anger and resentment, fear, and doubt, envy and jealousy is the inability to forgive someone we feel has hurt us in some way. There are four group people you need to forgive if you are serious about changing your thinking and changing your life.
The first is your parents, living or dead. You must absolutely forgive them for every mistake they ever made in bringing you up. At the very least, you should be grateful to them for giving your life. In contrast, by not forgiving your parents, you remain forever a child. You block your own chance to grow up and become a fully functioning adult.
The second group you must forgive is the people from your close relationships that didn’t work out. Marriage and other intimate relationships can be so intense and so threatening to your feelings of self – esteem and self – worth, that you can be angry and unforgiving toward those people for years. But you were at least partially responsible. Have the personal strength and integrity to say “I am responsible” and then forgive the other person and let him or her go. Say the words “I forgive him/her for everything and I wish him/her well”. Each time you repeat this, the negative emotion attached to the memory will diminish. Soon it will be gone forever.
The third group you must forgive is everyone else in your life who has ever hurt you in anyway. Let them go. Forgive every boss, business partner, friend, crook or betrayer who has ever caused you grief of any kind. Clean the slate, wipe each of their names and images off by saying “I forgive him/her for everything and I wish him/her well”. “The letter” is a powerful technique that can free you from feelings of anger and resentment almost instantly. You sit down write the other person a letter of forgiveness. It consists of three parts. First you say, “I forgive you for everything you ever did that hurt me”. Second, you write out a description or list of every single thing that you are still angry about. Third, you end the letter with the word, “I wish you well”. You then take the letter to the mailbox and drop it in. At that moment, you will feel a huge sense of relief, and you will be free at last. By the way, don’t worry about how the other person might react. That is not your concern. Your goal is to free yourself, to regain your peace of mind, and to get on with the wonderful life that lies ahead of you.
The fourth and final person you have to forgive is yourself. You must absolutely forgive yourself for every silly, senseless, wicked, brainless, thoughtless or cruel thing you have ever done or said. Stop carrying these past mistakes around with you. Think of it this way: when you did those things in the past that you still feel badly about, you were not the person you are today. At that time, you were a different person, younger and less experienced. You were not your true self. You were an immature version of the person you have become with experience. Stop beating yourself up for something that occurred in the past that you cannot change.
The most important quality you can develop to achieve greater success and happiness is the quality of optimism. Optimists seem to have two special ways of dealing with life. First, optimists look for the good in every situation, especially when they experience reversals and setbacks. They keep themselves positive by looking for the bright side, the silver lining, to every problem. And they always find something. Second, optimists seek the valuable lesson in every lesson in every problem or difficulty. They believe that each temporary failure or obstacle has been sent to teach them something. In addition to looking for the good and seeking the valuable lesson, optimists have seven orientations, or generalized ways of thinking about themselves and their lives:
First, positive, happy people are future-oriented. They think and talk about the future much of the time. They think and talk about where they are going, rather than about what happened in the past. Then create a clear, exciting future vision of what is possible for them.
Second, they are goals-oriented. They think and talk about their goals much of the time. Once they have dreamed and fantasized about their ideal future visions, they boil them down into clear, written goals and plans that they work on every day. They focus their attention and concentrate their energies. They use their goal to take control over their futures.
Third, they are excellence – oriented. They commit to becoming excellent at what they do, to joining the top 10 percent of people in their field, whatever it is. They identify their key result areas, and set standards of excellent performance for themselves in each one. They work on themselves each day, and never stop improving.
Fourth, they are solution – oriented. They think about the solution rather than the problem. They think about what needs to be done rather than who is to blame. They use creative thinking methods to unlock their creativity and that of the people around them. They view their goals as problems to be solved, and they believe that there is a logical solution to every difficulty just waiting to be found.
Fifth, successful, happy people are intensely results-oriented. They carefully plan each day in advance. They set clear priorities on their activities. They then work on those tasks that represent the most valuable use of their time. They plow through enormous amounts of work and become known as highly productive people.
Sixth, high performers are growth-oriented. They are continually reading, listening to audio programs, and attending additional courses and seminars. They are determined to stay at the cutting edge of the fields.
Seventh, and perhaps more important than any of the others, the most successful people are intensely action – oriented. They think about what they can do, right now, to move faster toward their goals. They are constant motion. They work in real time.
There are no real limits to what you can be, do and have, except for the limits you replace on yourself. You are a thoroughly good and extremely talented person, and there is very little that you can not achieve if you want it intensely enough and work toward it long enough and hard enough. The key is to begin today, and then never give up!